Lakewood Ranch is a terrible place, maximum dystopia truly. Recently I found myself in this strange place and left shocked, confused and terrified. Social disconnection, self indulgence and massive ego surrounded my like a suffocating fog strait from the depths Of hell. Like the oncoming chill of a bad trip I looked around and felt the uncanny feeling I had somehow wandered into a Tim Burton film, behold the horror of suburbia.
Friday night, artificial main street on the ranch. It’s cool there is a bad playing in the background. Restaurants are packed and people flow slowly through the crowded street’s like blood cell’s through a capillary. Prosperity and wealth shine like neon sign on the Vegas strip. Normally there would be a strong drink in my hand and I would shift seamlessly through the crowd without taking notice of what was going on around me. Unfortunately as of late I have experienced an extended bout of sobriety that has altered my perception on this seemingly normal night.
A bright white, flash and stars engulfed my vision as I was smacked in the face by the scene around me. Amongst the fast pace of everyone a few lifeless zombie’s sifted about kept animated by the plastic attached to there face like a tumor. Kid’s lashing out for attention, wife fucking every man that walked by with here eyes. These things don’t faze the cell man. Blackberry addiction is a serious thing it seemed as if they would suddenly drop dead if dragged out of the crackberry binge. Mouth open like a fish, eyes glazed over, confused look on the face are all symptom’s if you see your friends like this consider sitting them down and talking to them. Who is using who in these scenarios?
Umpa Lumpas, excuse me overweight children strolled about the fitness and wheat grass middle agers. Now how does a child so young get so large? Then one started screaming as if a gnome snuck up and stabbed him in the back. Dad was on the phone and mom was turned around gossiping with some friends. She angrily turned around and threw some gram crackers to junior. He instantly stopped crying and shoveled them into his mouth as fast as possible. Shit I bet like a goldfish he could eat himself to death if his parent’s let him. In a sad way it seems that is exactly what he is doing. Mom went back to gossiping and dad talked louder on the phone. Kid’s learn early negativity and tantrums bring reward, and self control is not important. It’s not his fault but that woman should be arrested for child abuse.
Wolf among sheep, red alert black man in white town I spotted a minority. I wasn’t the only one I saw several other people gawk with disbelief. Some shook their heads, some scowled, and some whispered and pointed. I could feel the audacity and bloodlust in the air hanging over my shoulders. Obviously desegregation had not occurred in this part of the state yet. Even some of the zombies snapped out of the haze just long enough to gawk at the anomaly. “We don’t like your type” sounded in my head.
I’d had all I could handle for one night. I slowly make my way through the mob. Smooth on the outside but frantic on the inside I knew these people would tear me limb from limb if they discovered I was an outsider. Step by step I made it off the street and to the safety of my vehicle. Lakewood ranch is what’s wrong with the world. I don’t know if my perception of events and reality are wrong or is it everyone else’s? I can’t answer that question maybe you can.
